the quiet days

haah i havnet used this thing in forever! well its not like anyone really keeps up with piece of crap anyway. i guess ive decided to use this again because lately ive been overly angry. i just need to get this horrible feeling out of me. its not benefiting me. Over the past years i've learned a lot about friendship and trust. I have a tendency to beleive that everything can stay the same and that through every fight the bond that bought the two people together in the first place will be even stronger. But honestly, thats not the case half the time. You cant put back broken pieces and expect it to be as good as new. it doesnt work out that way. you have to restructure the whole thing and just hope that it can turn out better than it was before.
However, sometimes i think its better jsut to leave things the way they are. whats the use of speaking up if it only causes trouble? i just wanted to communicate to you about how i feel, but you just take it as if im overrreating or some shit. honestly, if you knew me do i look like the type that would squabble over stupid things? then you get mad at me for getting mad. its frustrating. or maybe we can call that pride. i know im probably not makign sense right now, but who cares. i mean i know i got mad, but then i tired to fix things. its not necessarily meaning that im apoligizing. "apologizing does not always mean you are wrong and the other person is right. its means you value your friendship more than your ego". im expending my energy to try to reach you and resolve this problem of ours as soon as possible. but waht the fuck are you doing? lagging it? im not gonna be sitting around here waiting for you to have "time" to talk things over. no, i refuse to be treated this way. so i just wanted to say fuck you and have a good life ^_^
im over our so called "friendship". oh and if you read this, just know that things can never be the same again. ive probably ruined our chances of ever turning things back to normal. however we can be "hi, bye" friends. yeah thats about it!
xxx