No Longer Your Territory

mm that is so right.
nobody has reallly ever said that to me
and it seriously just opened my eyes.
people always sugar coat things and we tend to hate on the people who are brave enough to say the truth to your face because honestly, the truth hurts. yeah, i know its so cliche but it cant be more true. i realized that we need more honest people in this world. we cant always just live in our own little world.
everyone always told me these absurd things that lead me to believe and hope for something that was dead. deep down inside i probably already knew the truth but there was still hope. however, as of right i'm losing sight of that. when i think about it, it doesnt mean a thing to me. i cant remember the way i felt. i dont know what im holding onto or what's holding me back. i dont want to feel like this anymore. i dont want to feel as if i need something or someone. i want to be able to stand on my own two feet. we all have the ability to change our outlook in life. we dont HAVE to be depressed, sad, angry, etc. i think we personally CHOOSE to be. there's so many things and people out in the world that can make you happpy. you cant be stuck on something and sulk over it. sulking does nothing. absolutly nothing. well it does something, it can give others a bad impression and influence those around you to get annoyed. nobody wants to hang out with someone whose always complaining or whining about life. get on with it. we all have problems. face it, nobody's life is perfect and imperfection won't kill you and neither will not getting what you want. items are just items. there's nothing to it. we just want it to make ourselves look even better and show it off to the world. therefore, it doesnt matter if you dont get it because in the end, only the inside really counts. sure, we notice people because of their looks and there "status" but its possible to get other people's attention with your personality. people are so plastered in makeup and expensive clothing, but does that make them who they are? i dont think so. and if someone judges you by the way you look, then prove them wrong and if they dont treat you right becuase you aren't with the "in" crowd, they arent worth it. Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them. i just hope people won't change. especially my friends. don't get sucked in. OH! and if you dont get the boy that you were after or they leave you, dont ever think that you werent good enough or there's something wrong with you. if you have friends, im pretty sure that means you have a great personality. shit happens. we get hurt. we get stuck in the bottom of the well, but climb back up and remember how it feels to be happy and satisfied & then learn from it. learn that you need to let go. then you'll be as free as a bird. don't ever cling to the past.
and most of all, try to NOT get jealous. i know we cant help our emotions but we can control them. i think jealousy makes you a bitter person. you end up being so self conscious and change yourself into a mix of different people, which then will lead others to call you a follower. Anyways, overralll you shouldnt hold back on your emotions. dont ever pretend your okay and not let anyone in. vent it out. if you dont allow yourself to go all the way through them, you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid.


"All teenagers knew this was true. The process of growing up was nothing more than figuring out what doors hadn't yet been slammed in your face. For years, parents tell you that you can be anything, have anything, do anything. That was why she'd been so eager to grow up-until she got to adolescence and hit a big fat wall of reality. As it turned out, she couldn't have anything she wanted. You didn't get to be pretty or smart or popular just because you wanted it. You didn't control your own destiny, you were too busy trying to fit in."


i consider myself lucky and trust me, my life is one HUGE disaster. you dont even know, but im content with it. i have God, friends, and of course some of my family. the only thing i need to do is listen to my OWN advice. im not sure who i am anymore. ive always been this cheerful girl who cant say no or say what they TRULY feel. im bad with words. i want to change that. i want to be able to speak instead of bottling it all up. im fifteen years old. i know who my real friends are and who the real two faced b-words are. i love life. so much to experience, see, feel, touch, and learn. i know i kinda just poured my heart out into this blog so it doesn't reallly flow, but i really hope this can and will help someone. i hope people realize that there are others who go through the same problems and just that some are better at hiding it. and thanks lanny. reallllyyy i dont even think you know, but you helped me out a lot!


"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it."