the emotions slowly seep through me...

like poison, spreading slowly through my system until i become numb with pain. its days like these that i wonder why i bother existing. what exactly is the point of existence? to live like your dead? or is it to have your heart ripped out and thrown back in your face? wait, better yet, its about being selfish and indifferent to other peoples feelings right?
people always say take chances and be carefree, but they are wrong. How are you able to do that if everyone who surrounds you can turn their back on you in an instant? How many times can you let your guard down before your heart shatters?
emptiness. it follows me around and lurks around the corners. it screams and shouts at me. it is always waiting to pounce and take me by surprise. quietly it will whisper in my ears, "you are alone."every part of my body pricks with denial, but as i turn around to find comfort, there is nobody.

i dont really know what i just wrote. sorry if it sounds too pessimistic. juust my thoughts.